


A Tale of Two Idiots

by orphan_account



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-12
Updated: 2020-05-12
Packaged: 2021-03-03 01:33:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 627
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24146707
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Just short drabbles that I post onto my tumblr about these dumbasses.
Relationships: America/England (Hetalia)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 17





	1. Just a Phone Call Away

**Author's Note:**

> Yo! This will be a collection of drabbles no more than 1k words that I write when I get hit with inspiration. I'm down to take requests or if you have any ideas! I'm a nice guy, talk to me @muzanjacksons :D

America laughed, holding the phone closer to his ear. “Dude, you gotta be joking,” he said. 

“How many times have I joked in my life _?_ ” England asked sarcastically, though America heard him chuckle. “I swear on the Queen, I saw Romano beat the absolute shite out of Germany. I wish I had recorded it, damn.”

“Haha!” America laughed loudly again. “Oh, man! I can’t get that image outta my head dude. Ha! Imagine getting your shit rocked by an angry Italian?”

“I have no fucking clue what you just said.”

“HAHA! You’re so old, man. Try to stay in touch with the lingo,” America teased.

“Oh, shut up,” England grumbled. America heard him yawn, and pouted. “Oi, we’ve been talking for a long time. I think I’m going to head to bed.”

“Aw, alright.” America whined. His lips quirked up at the sound of England chuckling again. Two laughs in one night, he was on a roll!

“Goodnight, America.”

“Night, England. I love you.”

He was such a fucking idiot. 

America pulled his phone away from his ear and stared at the device in pure shock. No way had he just said that. No way. 

“Uh, Am–” England tried to speak, suddenly sounding much more awake.

“IDIDNTSAYANYTHINGHAOHMANYOURHEARINGSGOINGNIGHT!” America hung up faster than he could swallow a burger (his record is two seconds if you’d like to try and beat it.) 

After chucking his phone to the other side of his bedroom like it was a weapon of mass destruction, America turned on his side and grabbed his pillow.

Then promptly screamed into it. 


	2. Stocks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> My brain at 4am: Haha America saying STONKS

England repeatedly wanted to slam his head into the table and just die. Okay, maybe not that far, but good Lord he hated these meetings about economies. Everyone would just scream about how they’re on the brink of a collapse any minute now. 

He decided to people watch while Spain wailed and Germany attempted to calm the brunette down. 

France, Hungary, and Japan were huddled in a corner and that just spelled trouble so he didn’t bother wasting more time there–lest they catch his gaze and attempt to talk to him about “yaoi” or whatever.

America was being extremely quiet for no reason. The boy sat pouting, throwing a blueberry up in the air and catching it in his mouth. England held back a laugh. He absolutely loved when the boy’s people went on these crazy dieting fads, seeing America miserable brought him joy. 

Though, if he just so happened to stop by a certain fast food chain during their lunchtime break and purchase a certain blue eyed nation a burger and shake, it wouldn’t mean anything. Nothing at all. He would only be doing it so he wouldn’t have to hear the lad’s stomach grumble.

“The stock market has been a disaster recently!” China exclaimed, breaking out of his normal calm and cool exterior.

“We can fix it if we just–” Germany tried to explain, but was cut off abruptly by America coughing loudly. 

England glanced over, slightly worried that the idiot had lodged a blueberry in his throat. Maybe his body wasn’t used to natural, healthy food?

Instead of being blue in the face (HA! He’s still got it) and clutching his throat like England had feared, America was grinning ear to ear as he continued coughing. Realizing he wanted attention as per usual, everyone quieted down. Spain even reduced his sobs to sniffling.

Once all attention was on him, the young nation stood up. 

“I couldn’t help but overhear that we are discussing,” America cleared his throat obnoxiously. “ _Stonks_.”

Romano threw a tomato, booing loudly. As America laughed and tried to dodge, England held his face in his palms with a sigh.

Why was he in love with a moron?


End file.
